By Leonard Chan

When I thought about Qingming, I began to wonder how this cultural tradition came about.

Elephants, chimpanzees, gorillas, dolphins, horses, dogs, and other animals have been known to have death rituals. Even our distant human cousins, the Neanderthal, buried their dead and possibly placed flowers with the departed.

Some of my earliest memories are of going to cemeteries to pay my respects to people I never knew. As I would learn over the years, we had certain traditions and practices that we would do there. I would also learn that there were certain times of the year when we would do our visits – Qingming was one of those occasions.

If you’re one of those that turn away from anything that has something to do with death and dying, and would prefer to see the dentist before stepping foot in a cemetery, this article is more about my recollections of a cultural tradition than the morbid aspects of this subject. Please read on.

For those of you that are unfamiliar with Qingming (in Cantonese it’s pronounced Ching Ming) – some people describe it as Chinese Memorial Day. However, Qingming is observed in many places throughout Asia and even by many Asian Americans. There are also a number of similar observances with comparable cultural practices throughout the whole world.

Qingming is one of the few traditional Chinese festivals that does not follow the lunar calendar, but instead falls on approximately the same date each year relative to the now standard Gregorian system. Qingming takes place approximately between April 4th and 6th each year (15 days after the Spring Equinox). This year it fell on April 4th.

In my family’s Chinese dialect, we always just refer to the observance as going hong san, which also applied to any time we went to the cemetery. Since burial sites were often situated on hills, you can image how hong san, which translates to walking the hill or mountain, came into use. It wasn’t till much later in my life that I learned that the spring visit to the cemetery was properly called Qingming.

Adherence to customs can vary a lot. My parent’s families had some differences in how they practiced Qingming and similar observances. My dad’s side of the family would usually go hong san in the spring (Qingming time) and summer. The summer observance is the Hungry Ghost Festival or Zhongyuan Jie which takes place on the 14th or 15th day of the seventh month of the lunar calendar. Japanese Buddhist would be familiar with this festival – Obon Festivals originates from it.

My mom’s side would go to the cemetery in the spring (Qingming time) and fall. The fall observance is called Chong Yang or Chung Yeung and would fall on the ninth day of the ninth lunar month.

As you can see, when I was growing up, I was always going to the cemetery and not just to one location. There were two cemeteries in my dad’s home town of Oroville and my mom’s side was in Colma (now in two different cemeteries).

As little kids we were a little squeamish about visiting the cemeteries. We were always trying to brush off the dirt from our shoes, so as to avoid bringing anything having to do with death home.

Our aversion to cemeteries made the other custom of bringing food to the cemeteries particularly problematic. “How could people be eating there?” was always at the back of my mind.

As is the custom for Qingming, food was traditionally brought to the cemetery as an offering to the spirits of loved ones. The living would share in the meal either at the cemetery or by bringing the food home to eat later. My family usually chose to eat the meals later.

Even though I still don’t choose to practice eating at the cemetery for Qingming, I’m not as squeamish anymore and see this tradition as more or less like a picnic with family. So what’s so wrong if some of them are no longer alive :)?

Oh, did I mention family? Hong san was also the times when I would most often see my relatives. These events were usually big family reunions where I would see many of my uncles, aunts, and cousins.

My mom’s side was a little more traditional about the practices at the cemetery. My cousins would delight in lighting up firecrackers to scare away the evil spirits. Then there was the burning of fake money and other items of wealth (represented by paper replicas or images). This was a symbolic way of passing on those items to the dead.

Incense and candles were also lit and placed by the headstones near the food items (which were usually in boxes and or on plates). Someone would usually also pour some rice wine into cups and spill it out on the gravesite so that the departed could have a drink with their food.

The families would also partake in the cleaning of the headstones and burial plots. That is why Qingming is also known as Tomb Sweeping Day.

On my dad’s side, they would also take separate excursion with garden tools to the Oroville Chinese cemetery to clear away the wild growth. In the past, there were no caretakers for the Chinese cemetery. Sadly, I would often shirk this duty to avoid having to do manual labor in 100 plus degree Central Valley summers.

The common practice for both sides of my family was the placing of flowers and the ceremonial bowing (hands clasped together and swung three times for each of the loved ones).

Our tradition of visiting the cemetery was not limited to just the United States. When I went to visit my ancestral villages in China, the main point of the outings were to pay our respects to our ancestors. So we rambled through picturesque rice fields and country sides to get to these burial sites.

Back in the US, whenever we were finished at the cemeteries, we often had meals with the relatives or split up the food at one of our houses.

I can still recall the times Uncle Hawk and Aunt Sylvia would come over to divvy up the chicken at our house or we would go over to Uncle Paul and Aunt Wanna's place.

The trips to Oroville were particularly memorable for playing football or stick ball with the cousins, taking walks along the river levee, visiting the Oroville Chinese Temple, or just catching up with the relatives in my grandparent’s store/home. I really miss the interesting stories they might tell and the conversations that would be in my parent’s dialect. I seldom hear that language spoken anymore.

Sadly, as Chinese Americans become more and more Americanized, Qingming and other traditional visits to the cemetery seem less common. Now when I go to the cemeteries, I just go with one of my brothers. We don’t coordinate with our cousins and don’t see them as often anymore. I miss seeing them all, especially my uncles and aunts.

Perhaps with the interest in genealogy and family history research, people are finding new ways to connect with their past and keep the departed in our thoughts. However you choose to practice it, Qingming is really about remembering and respecting our past, and bonding with our families. I’m not sure if virtual memorializing can achieve the family bonding part of Qingming.

When I go, it’s no longer just for relatives that I didn’t know. So in sense, I’m still seeing my parents, aunts, uncles, and other relatives. They’re in my memories and thoughts whenever I stand before their headstones.

Thank you Mom and Dad for imparting this cultural tradition to us. I’m sorry for those rebellious teen years when we found excuses not to go. I wish I could have spent more time with you.

Here are some links for all the digressive reading I did in preparation for this article –

Qingming Festival

Qingming Festival (a poem by Du Mu)

Archaeologists Find Evidence of Flowers Buried in a 12,000-Year-Old Cemetery

The Skeletons of Shanidar Cave

Do Animals Experience Grief?

Touching Animal Death Rituals That Will Make You Tear Up

Comparative thanatology

Hungry Ghost Festival

Chong Yang Festival

Rosemary Gong’s wonderful Chinese culture book “Good Luck Life”